Day 64 - January 26

Dear Julie,

Today broke my heart. You had your two month check up, which included your first real set of vaccines. You knew something was going on when we got to the doctor's office, and started fussing immediately. When they called us back, we laid you on the table, got you undressed and ready! Dr. Good's regular nurse wasn't working today, and I didn't care for her nurse who was filling in for her. She came in first, and got all your measurements. You're 10 pounds, 7.5 ounces, 22.75 inches long, and your head is 15 inches. Once she was finished, Dr. Good came in. We talked to her about your spit up, and how the Zantac seemed to have stopped working, so she increased your dose. You'll now be taking 0.9ml three times a day, and if it doesn't help, we'll change medications. She also checked your right ear. Like I suspected, there's nothing wrong, you just found your ear this week and have been playing with it. Daddy thought you might have had an ear ache, and with his ear problems, we decided it was best to have her check. Dr. Good said you looked perfect, were gaining weight correctly, and she'd see us again in two months for another round of vaccines. She also said her nurse would be coming back in to give you your two month shots. You got three injections and one oral vaccine. She said it may make you sleepy and fussy for a few days, but that all kids are different and some react better than others.

A few minutes later, the nurse returned. She had a tray full of shots and bandaids, and explained that she'd give you three injections in your legs, but we'd start with the oral vaccine. You didn't mind the oral mediation. You're used to gas drops and Zantac, so it was no big deal. Then she got the injections ready. When she gave you the first injection, we heard a new cry. Today was the first time you've cried from pain. I was almost in tears by the end of it. You jumped when she gave you the first injection, then as I tried to calm you and comfort you, she gave you the next one. You just kept screaming and looking and me and your daddy, trying to figure out what was going on. Then she gave you the final injection, and I was able to pick you up. I held you as tight as I could, and you screamed with huge tears falling down your cheeks. I sang to you and rocked you, and finally, you calmed down. 

We got you dressed, and loaded in the car seat, made your next appointment, and headed home. I nursed you as soon as we got home, played for a little while, and then you fell asleep. You didn't seem to have any reaction to the vaccines other than screaming at the office. You were yourself again by the time we got home. So, I decided I'd go shopping for a little while during your nap, and daddy was going to stay home with you. I'd been gone for about 45 minutes, when daddy started sending me messages telling me I needed to come home. You woke up out of your nap and were screaming. He said he changed you, tried to give you a bottle, rocked and sang to you, and that you wouldn't calm down. I left the store as soon as I got the message, and called on my way home. Daddy put the phone on speakerphone, so you could hear me. You started to calm down when you heard my voice, and I sang over the phone the entire way home.

Once I got home and you calmed down, we loaded up and headed to the studio for dance class. You love watching the girls dance, and you were back to your normal temperament, so we went to class. You were happy as could be. You talked to the girls, watched them dance, napped off and on, nursed, and had a great afternoon.

We got home right at bedtime. I nursed you and daddy read you a few short stories. You really loved, "Moo, Baa, La La La." You laughed as daddy made all the animal sounds. Also, you loved one of my favorite books, "The Monster at the End of this Book," and really liked daddy's Grover impersonation! You were happy, and smiling, and then it was time for your medicine. We decided to give you some Tylenol before bed. Daddy gave you some when you started screaming earlier, and it eased the pain. We gave you Zantac and gas drops, like normal, and then the Tylenol. You screamed bloody murder. It took about thirty minutes to get you to calm down. You'd have thought I'd have given you another vaccine with how hard you screamed. Finally, after a lot of singing and shushing, you fell asleep. I dread your next visit to the doctor, but until then, I pray you won't have to feel pain again. 

Day 63 - January 25

Dear Julie,

Today, you are nine weeks old! You decided you no longer need to sleep, and that boobies need to be available on demand. You woke up early this morning, starving. You nursed, and took a power nap, then decided it was time to start your day at 7AM. We went with it, and figured you'd be back on schedule soon. Not too much longer, you spit up all over yourself, and me, and you had a huge poop, so you got a bath before daddy went to work. After your bath, I took a shower, and daddy took you back to our room to keep you warm. You fell asleep in his arms and took anither power nap. Ani and Obi came to check on you, and we finally got to take a family photo with everyone! 

You woke up when daddy left for work, and did not want to go back to sleep. When it was time for a nap, you completely refused! Any time I'd put you down you'd either stare at something or scream to be picked up. You nursed every hour on the hour, and by noon, I was exhausted. You were still awake, and were fighting sleep so hard, but were to overtired to sleep. So, I loaded you up, and we drove around town for a while. Finally, you fell asleep, and we went to the Dollar General store to use some coupons. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot you started screaming. I sang, shushed, and talked to you, and you wouldn't calm down. Finally, I took you out of your car seat and rocked you in the front seat of the car until you fell asleep. I then buckled you back into the car seat, shushed you a little more until you were really asleep, and we were ready to shop!

We were out for about two hours, and you napped off and on, but didn't sleep consistently. When we got home, I nursed you again, and I finally got you down for a nap. You slept really well, and were back on schedule by 5PM, and we had a great evening! 

Day 61 - January 23

Dear Julie,

Today was a day for celebration! It was my 28th birthday, and your two month birthday! How is it possible that you're already two months old? You're growing up way too quickly, and I already miss the newborn stage. I love that you want to learn about your surroundings, and interact with everything and everyone around you, but I miss the tiny, cuddly baby we brought home. 

There was no cake for my birthday, but we did have a blizzard. Well, we were supposed to! The forecast was for up to two feet of snow between Friday and Sunday, but we only have about 4-6 inches of snow. I was hoping to get out of the house today, but the snow made leaving impossible. Therefore, our day was very low key. I managed to take a bubble bath alone for the first time in weeks, then you spit up all over the place, so I got to take a second bath with you! We spent the day playing with your cat rattles, taking photos, and watching Netflix. Daddy and I binge etched The Walking Dead while you napped!

Though it wasn't my normal birthday celebration, there were no presents or cake, and we didn't really celebrate, it was a wonderful day. Nana called and sang happy birthday to me, and you and daddy sang to me too before bed. I'm going stir crazy, but we'll do something fun soon to celebrate and get out of the house! 

Day 59 - January 21

Dear Julie,

Today was fun! You woke up happy, and we talked and played once you ate this morning. We had to meet Sara in Tazewell around 10, so when it was time for a nap, we loaded up the car and headed to meet her. After we left, she called and said she was running late. Since we had time to kill, we headed to CVAC, and filled out paperwork for Early Head Start. 

I'm not sure if you'll qualify for the program since we're over income, or if Doug Sheets will approve your application if you do, but it never hurts to apply! All the girls in the Head Start office fell in love with you! They were so impressed with how alert you are - you were taking to everyone and kept following people with your eyes. You also held your head up, and turned it side to side to see everyone. You've been doing this for quite a while now, but apparently it isn't normal for someone so young. We stayed at the Head Start office for about an hour, and Sara still hadn't left home. Since we still had time to kill, we headed to the YMCA!

When we got to the Y, I pulled out my boba wrap, strapped you on, and we went walking on the indoor track. 

You fell asleep right away, and napped through an hour of walking, and about 15 minutes of the elliptical and the stair machine. You love when I wear you - you relax almost immediately and fall right to sleep.

Finally, Sara called and said she was on her way, so we left the Y, and headed toYour  Grate Escape for lunch. Sticking to your schedule, you woke up as soon as we got there, and decided it was time to eat and play. I'd packed a bottle for you today, and you drank half of it when we were with Head Start, but still had three ounces of milk remaining. Sara and I took turns feeding you so we could both eat. When it was time to leave, you screamed when you had to get back in your car seat. However, you calmed down quickly, I paid for lunch, and we headed out the door. 

Sara had a bunch of stuff to give me, so I kicked you into your car seat base, started the car, and helped Sara move things from her car to ours. As soon as I closed the door next to you, you started to scream. I put your paci back in, closed the door, and went to help Sara again. And within a minute, you were screaming again. Sara took her time explaining everything she brought to me, and what went to our house and what went to the farm. You yelled the entire time. I'd put your paci in, and you'd spit it out and start screaming. Finally, Sara had finished her explanation, so I stuck your paci in again and we headed home. 

As soon as I pulled out of the parkinglot you started to scream. I knew you were tired, and expected you to fall asleep. Haha. Hahaha. Yeah, that didn't happen. You screamed the entire way from Tazewell, home. All 18 minutes, at the top of your lungs. You needed a new diaper, but there was nowhere to change you at lunch, and it was too cold to change you in the backseat, so I decided to wait until we got home. Wet diapers don't usually bother you. You were fighting sleep hard, and weren't happy to be buckled into your car seat. You finally fell asleep about a minute before we pulled into the house. 

As soon as we walked in the door, you started screaming again. I took my shirt off, and nursed you as we walked to the nursery. You calmed down, I changed you, nursed you some more, and you were back to your happy self. After some playtime, you fell asleep, and took a great nap! You were fussy again later in the night, but were back on schedule by bedtime. Tomorrow's another day, and we'll see how it goes! 

Day 7 - November 30

Dear Julie,

Today, we ventured out for the first time, you met your Aunt Mindy, and daddy (really I) removed my bandaid covering my c-section scar! The morning started with the bandaid removal. They told us at the hospital that we had to remove the dressing seven days after you were born, and to take it off, we were to hold pressure over the incision, use the same tugging motion as removing a command strip. Ahhhh!! We decided to remove it first thing in the morning, instead of stressing over it all day. I stood in the bedroom, and daddy started to pull. It started off well, then daddy got a little pale. When the bandaid was a little less than halfway off, daddy said, "Don't move. I need water!" It took him about ten minutes to get his sea legs back, and by the time he returned to help, I'd finished the process. 

After daddy left for work, we had a low-key morning at home, then headed to the dance studio. I'm not allowed to drive for another week, or do anything other than sit and nurse, but the studio had to be set up and cleaned for classes, so your Nanny and I took you to the mall! 

We couldn't find the floor cleaner, so we went to K-Mart to buy what we needed. It was so nice to walk around! It was the first time I'd been out and about since having you, and the most I'd walked since the c-section. When we got back to the studio, Nanny mopped the floors, and you slept through everything! I sat down for a bit, and then I smelled it - you had a huge poop, and your very first blowout! Nanny changed your diaper, and we changed your outfit, and headed home.

A few hours later, it was time to go back to the studio. Since you haven't had any vaccines yet, I didn't want you around all the kids and germs, so we stopped by between classes. Lilly was in the first class and was so excited you were coming to dance class! When we arrived, I took you out of your car seat, and introduced you to our preschoolers. I explained that they couldn't touch you yet, but that once you got bigger you'd dance with them. Lilly was a proud cousin, and made sure everyone in the class knew that she got to touch you and give you kissed because she was the boss! Haha! 

Once Lilly's class left, we stayed so you could meet more dancers! The next class was ages 7-12, and they fell in love with you. They just kept talking about how cute you are! The parents were excited to meet you, and I talked with them for quite a while. Once we'd shown you off, we met Nana, Papa'll, Nanny, Poppy, Sara, Lilly, and Eliza for dinner at Italian Village. We shared some pizza, you got a bottle during dinner, then we headed home. 

Just as we pulled in to the house, your Aunt Mindy arrived! She was so excited to see you, and spent the entire evening rocking and playing with you. She used her nursing skills and checked my incision, and said it looked great! A little while later, and we all headed to bed. 

Day 6 - November 29

Dear Julie,

Today, I felt like myself for the first time since you were born. I woke up, and expected my migraine to have returned, but it was still gone! My back is still killing me from the spinal patch, and I'm taking it really easy with the incision across my stomach and the hole in my spine. I sat up for most of the day, and even walked around a little! I was able to nurse you while sitting, which was a huge success!  

Today, you got to meet mommy's best friends. Tascha and Kelsye came to visit, and you also met your future BFF and vacation buddies, Lizzie and TerriLynn. You also met your cousins for the first time today. Lilly was so excited to finally meet you. She wasn't allowed to come to the hospital because of her age and being in the middle of flu season. She'd seen pictures of you, and we facetimed with her, but, today, she got to hold you and kiss you! 

We all met at the farm, and spent the morning playing. Lizzie didn't know what to think of you! With only six months between your ages, you two will grow up being great friends. I hope your friendship will be as strong as mine with Tascha and Kelsye! 

We all had an early spaghetti dinner to celebrate Thanksgiving with your Aunt, Uncle, cousins, grandparents, and friends, then everyone headed home. We stayed a little longer to spend time with your grandparents, then we headed home too. 

Day 57 - January 19

Dear Julie,

Today was an interesting day! I went to the dance studio, and daddy stayed home with you. We went out early this morning to get breakfast, and to pick up daddy's car from the shop. It needed new breaks, and they called and said it was ready! We also had to return Papa'll's truck to the farm since they're calling for more snow!

We switched all the cars around, and headed home. Once there, I nursed you, and left for the dance studio. Daddy decided you needed to stay home with him since it was so cold. The DirecTV technician was coming to hook up our satellite around noon, and daddy said he'd be ok to keep you and work with the installer. However, here's the conversation I received while at the studio! 

This was daddy's first real test in parenthood. He's so wonderful when he's home, but he's rarely home alone with you, and when he is, there's usually very little else going on. It was fun for me to watch him work through the process of how to handle the situation at hand. He didn't give up, or call for help, he strapped you into a carrier so you were on his chest, got the cats locked in the bathroom, and we had satellite installed by the afternoon! 

Daddy finally made it to the dance studio with you by 3:30PM. We rearranged some tables so there'd be more room to fence, and then headed to Walmart to pick up some groceries before the storm hit! 

We made it home just in time for diner, I nursed you, we played for a little while, and you fell asleep pretty quickly. Our busy day, and your daddy daughter date day, were successful! 

Day 56 - January 18

Dear Julie,

Today, you're 8 weeks old! My, how the time flies! It was so cold today that the schools were closed. I don't think it got above 15 degrees out all day! Our house was cold, and the heat couldn't keep up, so you were bundled up. I finally understand my mom telling me to put on socks because she was cold. I was cold today, so you got a lot of extra layers!

Since the schools were closed, we spent the day at the dance studio with the competition team. You love watching them dance, and have heard their music so frequently that it helps you relax and sleep! It was about 8 degrees when we left home, so you were extra bundled in your car seat!

You weren't happy, but you were warm! We made our way to the studio, and you fell asleep as soon as we walked in the door. I moved tables, and started sweeping, and you woke up. I then got a really good workout - I steam mopped the floors with you in my arms. When you started to get sleepy, I put you down in your bouncer, and you took a power nap!

Once you woke up, you were so excited to be surrounded by dancers and music! The girls practiced for three hours, then we headed home, and got you back on your schedule. Today was a good day! 

Day 5 - November 28

Dear Julie,

Today was a stressful, exciting day! As planned, you stayed home while I went to the ER. Nana and Papa'll drove me to the ER at Raleigh General Hospital, and Nanny and Poppy took care of you. The entire way to the hospital, I had my seat reclined, a barf bucket by my side, and a towel over my eyes to block the sun. When we got to the hospital, Papa'll dropped me off at the door to the ER, and Nana helped me walk in. My migraine was so bad at this point that I could barely see. I had extreme sensitivity to light, so I'd almost black out when I opened my eyes.

I got registered, and after a short wait, they had me walk to a room in the ER. A nurse led me in the right direction, and I kept my eyes closed until we reached the room. I got into a gown, laid down on the bed, and they took my vitals. 

When the doctor came to my room, I explained that David told me to come to the ER, and that I needed a spinal patch. The doctor called David to make sure he had all the information correct, and to see what he could do for me. David instructed him to find an anesthesiologist, and have them do the procedure. The ER doctor was excellent, and followed David's directions. He knew that I was a new, nursing mother, that I'd travelled to have the procedure, and that I needed to get home quickly. He got on the phone immediately and started calling to find an anesthesiologist. Within 30 minutes, the anesthesiologist was in my room. 

The anesthesiologist asked me a few questions, such as when the migraine started, if I was sensitive to light, and if the migraine went away when I laid down. I answers the questions, and he agreed that I needed a spinal patch, and said he'd do the procedure as soon as he found someone to assist him. About another half hour later, they wheeled me to the surgery recovery area. I wasn't sick, and they wanted to keep me away from germs, so it was the safest place to do the procedure. The anesthesiologist said that we'd know within an hour whether the procedure had been successful or not. 

The doctors sat me up, and I leaned forward onto one doctor while the anesthesiologist started the procedure. Essentially, it was the same procedure as an epidural. I leaned forward, and they inserted a needle into my spine. I didn't receive any numbing medication as they needed me to tell them when I felt pressure in my spine. He said I'd know what he was talking about when he started he procedure. They removed blood from my arm to insert into my spine. Like the doctor said, I knew when it was enough, and told them when to stop the injection. 

Almost immediately, I felt the pressure in my head start to release. They laid me down, and had a nurse come every 15 minutes to set me up 15 degrees at a time, until I was sitting up. When the hour mark hit, and I was sitting up completely, my migraine was gone! I've never felt such relief! They wheeled me back to my original room in the ER, and within 29 minutes, I was discharged. I walked out of the ER with a sore back, and directions to take it extremely easy, not to bend or lift for two weeks, to drink as much caffeine as possible to keep the blood vessels constricted, and to love on my baby as much as possible! 

We left the hospital, stopped at Dairy Queen for lunch, and headed home! We got home and I nursed you, and finally felt like I could be the mother you deserved. 

Day 4 - November 27

Dear Julie,

You spent today being loved on by your grandparents, aunt, and cousins! I was still sick with a migraine, and spent the day on the couch at the farm in my pajamas. Your Nanny drove us to the farm today, and scared me half to death! She drove our car, but didn't know how to drive a 5-speed. Four days after a c-section, while battling a migraine, was not the opportune time for her to learn, but we made it safely. It was just a bumpy ride.

I have no idea what you did today, but you were completely entertained, and were passed from family member to family member all day. When you got hungry, they'd bring you to me to nurse, then you'd be swept away again. 

You did poop on me for the first time today, and I didn't notice for quite a while. You nursed, then cuddled up on my chest and napped for a little while. Then we heard it. The sound of poop! Abi decided she wanted to change your diaper, and everyone sat back and watched and laughed as you'd pooped everywhere! You had your first blowout, and poop came out of the side of your diaper. I thought I was safe, and it had only gotten on your clothing, and then I sat up. I had poop all over my stomachZ to make it even better, I forgot to put in breast lads this morning, and when I woke up from my nap, I had soaked through my shirt and drenched the couch in breastmilk. Luckily, I had a backup outfit packed, because between the poop and milk stains, my red tank top had a hard day! 

I decided to text David about my migraine tonight, and he said it sounded like I had a hole in my spine from the anesthesia that didn't seal, and that I needed to go to the emergency room first thing tomorrow morning for a spinal patch. I decided it was best for you to stay home tomorrow, so I started to pump so you'd have breastmilk that would last long enough for three feedings. 

Your daddy has to go back to work tomorrow, so you're going to stay with your Nanny, Poppy, Aunt Chrissy, Ali, Abi, and Danny, and Nana and Papa'll are going to take me to the ER tomorrow. We have a plan, and hopefully, the migraine will go away soon, so I can be the mother you deserve and that I've longed to be. 

Day 58 - January 20

Dear Julie,

Today was your first snow storm! We have about three inches of snow so far, and over a foot more predicted in the next two days. The weather definitely affected your regular schedule! You woke up late, at 8:45AM, then didn't take a nap until until 1:30PM! You refused to sleep. You finally crashed, and were up again two hours later, screaming for food. You nursed, and again refused to sleep. You were content laying in your rock and play, but a nap was not in your plans for the day. 

You also started to notice your hands today. You've always had a love of sucking your thumb, but, today, you started really looking at your hands. You were so cute as you watched yourself open and shut your hand. You'd flip your hand over and just marvel at what you'd done! 

The TV was a big excitement today too. You started watching the screen, and regardless of where we moved in the room, your head was turned towards the TV. Therefore, we watched the food network, and baby TV, while you were in a nap strike. I can't wait to see what you learn tomorrow! 

Day 53 - January 15

Dear Julie,

Today, was my day off. I absolutely love being your mother, but after yesterday, when you tried to suck the life out of me - literally - I needed a break. You were up twice to nurse during the night, and after nursing you at 6AM, I decided to take a bath and relax while you and your daddy slept for a few more hours. It was nice to have some time for myself, and just disk in the hot water. You slept in today until 9AM, and once you woke up, your daddy brought you to me in the bathtub. We played in the tub for quite a while, singing songs and scrubbing all the caked on spit up off you.

Your dad had the day off today, but didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, so I got to spend some time out of the house while daddy stayed home with you. After your bath, we all went to Food City and did some grocery shopping. You decided there were too many things to look at in the store, and would not stay in your car seat, so we carried you through the store while all the little old ladies fawned over you! You really are an adorable baby!

After grocery shopping, we headed home so you could eat. Your normal schedule is eat, play, nap, repeat. Today, as my day off, I was only here for the "eat" part. Once you'd finished eating, I headed to k-mart to shop. Your dad started sending me messages saying the moo cow was needed at home, and I made it home just in time to nurse you! 

After you ate, I continued my day off, and went to visit Angel. I love spending time with you, and have waited so long to be a mother, but it was so nice to spend some time with my BFF, and have a conversation with someone who can talk back. I adore our conversations, and there's nothing cuter than you trying to talk back, but after a week of being home, just the two of us, it was great to talk to other people. 

While I was gone, I expected you'd fuss like you did yesterday. Part of me hopes you'd yell and scream while your dad spent time with you so he could see why I'm exhausted when he gets home from work. However, you were a perfect angel! You slept straight through your naps, not waking or squirming at all. You are such a good baby, and we are so blessed! Your napping allowed me to take some time for myself, and your dad got to stay home and play video games and watch TV, and have some downtime while you were sleeping! 

You were excited to see me today, and I missed you while I was gone, but you needed time with your dad, and I needed time with my friend. It was a great day for all of us! 

Day 52 - January 14

Dear Julie,

Today, you must have hit a growth spurt! You could not get full! We threw the schedule out the window again, because as soon as you'd fall asleep, you'd wake up hungry. I'm not taking, "I want to snack" hungry; I'm talking, "I must eat right now or I'll die of starvation" hungry! It was cute at first, but by bedtime, I was completely over it. Today was the first day I almost broke down to give you formula. I didn't do it, but I sure was close. From 4:00PM-10:00PM, when you finally fell asleep in bed, you did not sleep. You nursed for 30 minutes out of every hour, and as soon as I'd set you down for a nap, you scream in hunger. I've never felt more like a cow than I did tonight, and by bedtime, you drained the cow dry. 

Day 3 - November 26

Dear Julie,

Today is Thanksgiving Day, and even better, it is going home day! We spent the morning being checked and rechecked by our doctors, and waiting to be discharged. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while we waited anxiously. Your nurse came in and helped us set up your car seat, and daddy packed the car. Finally, after lunch, we got the green light! We were officially released! 

Unfortunately, I still had a migraine that I couldn't shake, and it progressively worsened throughout the day. We left the hospital as a family of three. You were crying in the backseat, daddy was driving, and I was sick as a dog in the front seat. As soon as we left the hospital, I started vomiting from my migraine. I rode the entire way to the farm with my head on the dashboard, eyes closed, and regularly vomiting. 

Daddy drove us straight to the farm so we could celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. My parents, daddy's parents, Aunt Chrissy, and your cousins Ali, Abi, and Danny were all waiting to see you! We pulled in and went into the basement, where it was dark and cold. I was still sick, and sitting upright or being in light made it worse. Once I nursed you, you were swept away by your doting family, and I took a nap. You enjoyed your first thanksgiving in the rock and play, next to daddy, who brought me a plate full of food while I was sleeping. Unfortunately, turkey will not be on the menu any time soon, as it was the last meal I had before leaving the hospital, and I threw it up for hours. Instead, I dined on chicken tenders and sweet potato casserole. 

After dinner, your daddy played games with your cousins, while your grandparents played with you, and I continued napping. By 7PM, we decided it was time to head home. 

When we arrived, I went straight to the guest bedroom, since I couldn't get into our king sized bed aftrr the c-section.  Your daddy laid you next to me, and you met your brothers, Ani and Obi for the first time! They didn't quite know what to think of you, but they knew you were our kitten, and were protective immediately. After I nursed you, it was time for bed. Daddy read you your first bedtime story, "Goodnight, Moon," I sang to you until you were fast asleep, and we put you down in your crib with a sound machine to help soothe you. You weren't a fan of sleeping alone, but after waking a few times, you finally crashed until you got hungry.

I wish so badly that I felt better, and was able to participate more on your first day home. I know I missed so much, and I will always wonder how it would have differed if I didn't have a migraine, and if I could have been more involved. Luckily, we were blessed with a family that stepped in to help while I was down for the count. 

I love you, baby girl. Happy first Thabksgiving!   

Day 50 - January 12

Dear Julie,

You slept through the night last night! Woohoo! Although, I do think it was a fluke, and only happened because you nursed, then chugged five ounces of milk, and nursed again! You were in bed by 9:30PM, fussed on and off until 10:30PM, and didn't wake up until 6:30AM, at which point you nursed and went back to sleep until 9:30AM! 

Once you woke up, we took a bath together, which is one of your favorite activites now! You love laying on my chest, nursing, and kicking the water. You haven't learned to splash yet, but it won't be long. 

After our bath, daddy got you dressed while I took a shower. As I was getting out, I overheard a very cute conversation. Daddy picked out polka dot pants, and was trying to decide if he could put striped socks with the outfit. He decided to go for it, and mix patterns, but I've minutes later, I heard him say, "I should have gone with polka dot socks." 

And, again, you wouldn't nap during dance class. You were too intrigued by the girls dancing. 

Day 49 - January 11

Dear Julie,

Today was both fun and stressful. You're seven weeks old, back to nursing again, and you didn't want to nap at all. You've finally started noticing your surroundings, and you can't let a nap keep you from experiencing something new. You're afraid you might miss something! You had a ball with Ani today. Not only did you notice him, but he paid attention to you. He rubbed up against you while you were in my arms, and let you run your fingers and toes through his fur. He purred the entire time, and have you kisses regularly! It was the first time you've really interacted together, and I can't wait for it to happen again.

Today was your first day back at the dance studio, and you had a blast. You just kept watching the girls dance, and got frustrated that you couldn't join them. So, like any good mother, I strapped you on, and we danced together. This was the first time I'd tried out my Boba wrap, and it worked wonderfully. You were cuddled up close, and eventually, you fell asleep from the motion. 

You also got a new bouncer to keep at the studio. It's adorable, and allows you to watch what's going on. The elephant ears also work as a swaddle, but you're not quite big enough for it yet.

You also gave us our first parenting scare today. While we were at the studio, you broke out in a rash. 

It was head to toe, and covered everything but your face. By the time we got home, it was almost gone, but you definitely scared me today!

Day 2 - November 25

Dear Julie,

You've had more visitors today! Your grandparents couldn't stay away, and the Rainey girls stopped in! Heather and Catherine spent quite a while holding and playing with you, and Karen stopped in to say "hello!" 

Day 1 - November 24

Dear Julie,

Today has been filled with family! Your grandparents stopped by for a visit, so did your Aunt Sara, and we facetimed with your Uncle Tommy, Aunt Kathy, Tommy, and Declan! Tommy and Declan just kept saying, "She's so cute!" Everyone is so in love with you! 

I finally got to eat this morning, which made me much happier, and my medication is working well, so I'm not in much pain as long as I stay in bed. 

Day 47 - January 9

Dear Julie,

Today has been a hard day. You didn't sleep well last night, and have screamed a lot today. You're still refusing to eat, and I can't figure out why. Your Zantac is definitely helping, and you haven't spit up in a few days, but you've started screaming while nursing again and it breaks my heart. There's nothing worse than knowing you're hungry, placing my breast in your mouth, seeing the milk shooting in, and watching you scream instead of eat. It makes me feel like a horrible mother, but I know the feeling will pass. You're currently snoring on my shoulder, and I know I should put you down, but I need to hold you right now. It's selfish, but it makes my day so much better by having you cuddled up against my chest, sleeping soundly. If I can't help you eat, at least I can help you sleep. We'll try again in a few hours. 

Well, it's hours later, and you've screamed all day. It's getting better, and I think I've figured out your problem with nursing. You've gotten used to a bottle which gives you instant gratification. So, now you don't want to work for your food, and you scream when my milk slows down. We're making progress though, and you nursed for 20 minutes at your last feeding! Then you screamed and fell asleep on me with some coaxing. Tomorrows anther day, and hopefully it won't be as stressful. 

Day 45 - January 7

Dear Julie,

Today we threw the schedule out the window. You decided it was a good day to sleep in. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but after your Nanny kept asking when you'd be awake so she could play, I woke you up. You weren't happy about it, but a bottle of milk changed your mind quickly! I had my six week, postpartum check up, which meant a lot of time in the car, or lots of extra naps. We tried to wake you up at the doctors office, but you weren't having it. You finally decided to wake up as it was time to leave, and you fell asleep again in the car. 

Day 0 - November 23

Dear Julie,

Today, my life changed. You were born, and I became a mother. This is a title I've wished, hoped, and prayed for over many years. Mom. Me, I'm a mom. I have a beautiful baby girl. You're perfect! Cute, pink, cuddly, and mine. We're about to start a grande adventure, and I can't wait to document every bit of it! I have never been more in love, and all the years of heartache have faded away. Mama loves you little one.

Day 46 - January 8

Dear Julie,

Today was a good day. You slept well last night, stayed on schedule most of the day, and spit up very little. Well, until dinner time that is! You decided today that my boobs were good again, and wanted desperately to nurse. So, you got your wish, and after staring longingly for "'dos boobies", I gave in knowing that it hurts your belly when you nurse. Just when I thought we'd passed the safe threshold, and your dinner was staying put, you proceeded to barf all of the milk down both of us. Again. I carry with me an aroma of barfed up breastmilk at all times now, but I absolutely love it! 

Ani is getting brave now, and kept giving you kisses once you barfed. I believe you'll be best friends soon! Obi will take a little more convincing though!